Get annoyed by people asking you the time? What you need is this to shut them up..

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A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,”
and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?” “I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be
$9.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke.”
The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.” Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

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This is a clip from America’s got talent. Damn that guy knows how to move! Cant believe he actually had the guts to do that in front of that audience!

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The life editor. Don’t we all wish we had one?

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Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone” Happy Birthday.”

I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids…. They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way
“Happy Birthday!”. It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
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